SB Nation Philly: All Posts by FakeWIPCaller .

Eagles Fire Andy Reid, and At Long Last We Are Free

2012-12-31T16:40:56Z

After 14 years, four NFC championship game losses, zero championships and about 450 ill-advised timeouts, Andy Reid was finally fired Monday as coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Sure, the team had some success early in Reid's tenure, thanks entirely to draft picks from the Ray Rhodes era and the first-rate defense coached by Jim Johnson. But as the years went on, things just got worse and worse. If you ask me, the decision to fire Reid is overdue by three or four years, although some fans would probably say five or six years.

But let's not kid ourselves- today is a blessed day. In the last 12 hours, the Cowboys choked away the NFC East, and now Andy is gone. Food tastes better. The air feels cleaner. It may be 30 degrees outside, but when I woke up this morning, I swear I heard a robin chirping.

The Eagles shouldn't even release a 2012 highlight video. Instead, they should just put today's press conference out on DVD. I know i'd buy it.

Other notes from the end of an era:

- The Eagles fire Andy Reid, on a day the WIP morning show is on vacation? It's the culmination of all their work for the past 14 years, and Angelo, Al and Rhea weren't even there to witness it? This is the most diabolical move by the Eagles organization since they chose the day of Angelo's diverticulitis surgery to announce Joe Banner's departure.

- Speaking of the station's lineup, I hear they're putting national guys from CBS Radio on 610-AM, starting this week. Because when I heard Andy was gone, I know my first thought was to wonder what John Feinstein thinks about it.

- Why hasn't Jon Gruden been hired yet? That's always been the Eagles' problem, no sense of urgency.

- As for Sunday's loss to the Giants, the Eagles recovering an onside kick and then immediately turning it over was like a microcosm of the Eagles' entire season. In fact, the day was full of microcosms: All six touchdowns by the Giants, Nnamdi Asomugha's entire game, Alex Henery's laughable missed field goal, that play in the first quarter when LeSean McCoy ran around for a long time for no gain, and the audio going out during Reid's postgame press conference. See more microcosms at the hashtag #EaglesMicrocosm

- Despite the blowout, the Giants still didn't make the playoffs, which is just more proof that Eli Manning is a loser and always will be.

- Andy Reid was fired. Donovan McNabb has been out of the league for over a year. But Terrell Owens is starring on Fox's celebrity diving reality show. We all know who got the last laugh on that one.

- ProFootballTalk, in another of its airtight reports, said early Sunday that "a theory making the rounds in the league" is that Reid may not find a head coaching spot in the NFL in 2013. Which is apropos, if he mismanaged the clock of his own job search.

- Michael Vick's career in Philadelphia didn't end as badly as his career in Atlanta. But it was close.

- Final thoughts on Andy's firing? I'm ecstatic. Never again in this town will we have a coach who makes stupid decisions, mismanages the clock, makes bad draft selections, and throws more than he runs. Being an Eagles fan is going to be nothing but ease and joy from now on.

Fire Andy Reid Before It's Too Late!

2012-12-20T19:05:44Z

The assumption among most Eagles fans and NFL observers is that the final two games of this season will be the last of Andy Reid's career with the Eagles, that this Sunday's game against Washington is his final home game and that he'll be fired on the Monday morning after the season ends.

That, I'm afraid is not good enough. The Eagles must fire Andy Reid, today.

Why today? Because there's a chance, albeit a small one, that the world could end on Friday. And Mayan apocalypse or no Mayan apocalypse, the worst thing about the sudden negation of all existence would definitely be that the world ended with Andy Reid still coaching the Eagles. I don't think Jeffrey Lurie wants that on his conscience.

The more you think about it, it's really a no-brainer. Even if the world doesn't end- no awful post game press conference after the game. No excruciating coach's show on Monday. Sounds good, right?

I mean, maybe the Mayans were right. After all, they never blew a Super Bowl. They never got rid of Brian Dawkins. And they certainly never signed a dog killer to play quarterback.

Firing Andy today would also relieve every Eagles fan of a huge moral dilemma for Andy's final home game: Boo him, or react with total indifference. Brian Startare suggested the other night that we start a "Thank you Andy" chant, which I'm all for provided we change the "thank" to a different word.

So fire Andy today, Jeffrey Lurie. Because if there's a cataclysmic event that throws the world into a fire-plunged hellscape, it won't be all that different from being an Eagles fan the last 14 years.

Other Philly sports takes:

- That Eagle was a fraud? Yea, I know the feeling.

- Why is Eskin hosting the morning show? My commute to work just isn't the same without the sounds of Angelo, Rhea, and people eating hundreds of chicken wings live on the air.

- Mike Trout was in town last week and attended the Eagles game. Shame on the Phillies for letting him leave town without signing a contract. And I don't want to hear about "he's under contract for six more years" and "the Phillies can't sign him." For teams that are real winners, the word "can't" isn't in their vocabulary. Wake up, Ruben.

- As for other outfield options… I don't have a good feeling about Cody Ross. He just strikes me as the kind of guy who'd come to town, sign his contract, and then order a cheesesteak with all the wrong toppings on it.

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

Philadelphia Eagles: Winners and Losers From the End of a Streak

2012-12-11T15:46:47Z

The Eagles on Sunday came within a last-second play of their ninth consecutive loss, taking advantage of a superhuman final drive against the league's worst pass defense to beat the Bucs in Tampa Bay. In all, great day to be an Eagles fan, except for the part about blowing their draft position.

Anyway, a look at who won and who lost from the Eagles' first win in 70 days:

Winner: Nick Foles. For years, we've all wondered what the Eagles would be able do with a quarterback who possessed the qualities needed to win in the NFL: Namely, grit, the will to win, a high football IQ, and (most of all), the lunchpail, blue-collar approach to the game that Philadelphia fans demand. Wonder no more. Foles is officially a quarterback's quarterback and, more importantly, a Philly Guy.

Loser: Jeff Garcia. His status as the best Eagles quarterback of my lifetime is no longer secure.

Winner: The guy who played "Napoleon Dynamite." Because of his resemblance to Foles, people are remembering him for the first time in years. Even if his Uncle Rico may have been the better quarterback.

Loser: Donovan McNabb. Nick Foles heroically led a game-winning in the final seconds, something certain other ex-Eagles quarterbacks were known for never being able to do.

Winner: Andy Reid. Even if he coached Sunday's game in a golf shirt two sizes too small, a win is a win.

Loser: The fans. If, as we all fear, Sunday's game kicks off a four-game winning streak that leads to a three-year Andy extension.

Winner: Bobby April. If the Eagles had lost you just know there'd have been another Monday morning assistant-coach purge, and after the missed field goals and muffed punt, you get the sense it was April's turn.

Loser: Jim Washburn. Clearly, the eight-game losing streak was all his fault.

Winner: Brent Celek. He may have been knocked out of the game with a concussion on the first play from scrimmage, but at least he gave an inspiring pregame speech.

Loser: The Phillies. They've now no longer won a game more recently than the Eagles- and if you ask me, that's just embarrassing. They must now rebound by signing Josh Hamilton, preferably announcing it during the Eagles game on Thursday night.

Winner: Jon Gruden. He was in attendance to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Tampa's championship- and got a front-row seat for what we all hope is his next team. He did say Foles reminded him of Brad Johnson…

Loser: Ronde Barber. Ten years ago, he was responsible for one of the worst moments in Eagles history. He's somehow still with the Bucs- and look who got the last laugh?

Other Philly sports takes:

New Phillies third baseman Michael Young was reportedly torn between family and baseball when weighing whether to approve his trade to the Phillies. Let's all be thankful he decided against his family and made the right choice.

Zach Greinke's 6-year deal with the Dodgers was $149 million, $5 million more than the Phils gave Cole Hamels. I hate how cheap the Phillies are.

Don't think I"ll ever be able to forgive Shane Victorino for taking Boston's money. He should've offered to come back to the Phillies for free.

The Andrew Bynum saga has a clear lesson: Bowling is dangerous, and you should never bowl. Or trade Andre Iguodala for anyone who does.

If Salon.com ever wants to interview me, they know where to find me.

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

Andy Reid: Some Final Thoughts

2012-11-30T19:23:10Z

As Andy Reid's Eagles coaching tenure enters its sad final days, many questions have been raised among the Eagles' faithful. Such as, "Can it get any worse?," "Where's rock bottom," and "How can Jeffrey Lurie sleep at night?"

But the biggest question of all is about Andy's legacy in Philadelphia. The national media has been busy telling us for weeks -especially announcers during the entire fourth quarter of every game- that Andy Reid is the best coach in Eagles history. But they're wrong. I say Andy is not the best coach in Eagles history, but rather the worst.

Think about it. Has any Eagles coach broken our hearts more? Frustrated us or driven us more crazy? Say what you will about Joe Kuharich, but at least he ran the ball once in awhile.

How many NFC championship games did Marion Campbell lose? Four fewer than Andy Reid.

Did Buddy Ryan lose any Super Bowls? Did Rich Kotite? Ray Rhodes? No they did not. But Andy did. And yes, Dick Vermeil lost one too. But that doesn't count, because we love Dick Vermeil. All you really need to know about either man is that Vermeil's the one who brought in Vince Papale, while Reid gave us Donovan McNabb.

Andy Reid is often called the winningest coach in Eagles history. And while, on paper, that's true, we all know it's really Buddy Ryan.

Other Philly sports takes:

- I never could stand Jason Babin and I won't miss him. But shame on the Eagles for making him the scapegoat, along with Juan Castillo and various mid-level front-office employees. At any rate, I hope the Eagles-to-Jaguars transition goes as smoothly for Babin as it did for Hugh Douglas.

- Possible 2013 Eagles starting quarterbacks, in order of likelihood: Alex Smith, Nick Foles, Mark Sanchez, Matt Barkley, Tim Tebow, Michael Vick.

- Honey Badger's going in the draft? I'd absolutely take him over either Nnamdi or DRC.

- Philly.com is clearly so vested in protecting the Eagles and deflecting attention from their losing streak that on the morning after last week's game, they put a picture of a naked lady on their website.

- I'm pretty steamed that the Phils wouldn't pony up for B.J. Upton. But they can make up for it, by offering Josh Hamilton whatever he wants.

- Thoughts on Chooch's suspension: I'm generally opposed to the use of supplements in baseball- unless it's the Phillies, and it's an important stretch of the season. Therefore, I'm more upset that other people on the team weren't taking Adderall as well. Like J-Roll couldn't have used some.

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

On Field and On Screen, the Eagles Can't Stop Failing

2012-11-16T15:56:12Z

What more can I say about this pathetic, embarrassing Eagles team? I didn't tweet much this week, because whenever the Eagles lose to the Cowboys, I always have trouble getting out of bed. Apparently some of the players feel the same way.

I mean, what else is left to say about that sad loss on Sunday, the team's fifth in a row? The only people in Eagles' jerseys at the Linc who showed any pride, tenacity or passion were the fans in the parking lot who set fire to a Cowboys fan's car. It's also pretty pathetic that there were people in Cowboys jerseys all over the place at the Linc, yet it didn't look like any of them had black eyes.

That said, I am excited for the Nick Foles Era. I bought a Foles jersey, I admit. Nine weeks ago. But sticking him behind this line is just abominable. I hear Foles' brother was tweeting during the game, pleading for them to get Nick some help, or else for a trade.

The Eagles admitted they turned up the PA system during the game? Great, we'll just have to boo louder.

I was sure the five-game losing streak and the loss of confidence by the entire fan base would be enough to finally get Andy Reid out of town. But do you know what really convinced me the Andy Era is over for good? The Joe Conklin "Ho Ho Ho" song. Absolutely devastating.

Oh well, it could be worse, everyone. We could still have McNabb.

@FakeWIPCaller at the Movies:

Seeking some refuge from the smoking failure of this year's Eagles season, I caught an early showing of "The Silver Linings Playbook" this week. Big mistake.

Like most things involving the Eagles, I had high hopes that weren't met. The commercials that have been showing during football games made it look like the whole movie was about an Eagles fan who meets a hot girl who's also an Eagles fan, and them and his dad make a big bet about the last game of the year. Sounds great, right? About time they made a movie that guys like me can relate to.

But that's not it at all. Bradley Cooper- who's from Philly, and should really know better- plays a die hard Birds fan who just got out of a mental institution. Yes, that's right, Hollywood is stereotyping Eagles fans as mentally ill. I mean, 13 years of Andy Reid can do a lot to test any man's sanity, but come on.

This is just another way of saying we all throw snowballs at Santa. In fact, Cooper himself -who I thought was one of us- dropped the S-bomb in an interview with Rhea Hughes, which should tell you a lot about the integrity of this project.

But even worse than that- there's almost no football in the movie! We don't see any game action, and the movie doesn't end with a big football game, but with a dance contest. And while I for one really enjoyed the part where there's a big brawl during a tailgate in the Linc parking lot, that scene should've been way longer.

The movie's set during the 2008 season, so I was hoping we'd get a scene celebrating McNabb's benching in Baltimore. No such luck. And Cooper wears a DeSean Jackson jersey for most of the movie. I'm pretty sick of that guy, and I know I'm not the only one. We don't need a guy named Cooper wearing the jersey of a disappointing Eagles wide receiver. We already have Riley.

Sure, I liked a few things. Robert De Niro plays Cooper's dad, who's a bookie. I always wished De Niro was my dad, or at least my bookie. And Jennifer Lawrence is pretty great to look at, although I don't know why they couldn't have her play an Eagles cheerleader.

They should've just made another movie about Vince Papale. Or waited for a few years to make "Superstar: the Nick Foles Story." Thumbs down. I don't expect Glen and Ray Diddy to even include it in their next movie book.

Other Philly sports takes:

- Many of you have asked who I voted for. Like in every election, I wrote in Buddy Ryan for president.

- Now that the Lakers decided not to hire Phil Jackson, the Sixers must. Last time he replaced Doug Collins, you may remember, it worked out pretty well.

- Sure, the Marlins, who dumped their whole roster Tuesday, may be cheap, but let's not give the Phillies a pass. They haven't signed any free agents yet, have they?

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

Why I'm Done With the Eagles

2012-11-01T12:00:59Z

Well, I made it through this week's disaster unscathed. But I still can't believe the Eagles lost at home after the bye.

Sure, we all had a bad feeling going into the Eagles game on Sunday. But once it was played, the game ended up being a debacle beyond any of our imaginations as the Eagles were thoroughly embarrassed and outclassed by the Atlanta Falcons. They looked awful on offense, defense, and special teams and worst of all, the team went the entire game without popping Asante Samuel one in the mouth. Disgraceful. And so I'm done.

Andy Reid's perfect record of never losing after the bye has always meant a lot to me, and all other Eagles fans. Much as Andy Reid has let us down over the years, at least we had that 13-year after-the-bye winning streak to fall back on. For all those years, no matter how bad things got, we could always count on that.

But now we can't. And so I'm done. I'm just done.

And I'm not alone. Even Angelo Cataldi - a man whose loyalty to the Eagles is normally unshakeable- vowed after Sunday's game that enough was enough.

Not only did Andy lead the Eagles to another bad loss, but after the game, adding insult to injury, he threw Lunchpail Philly Guy Nick Foles- a man who unquestionably Gets It- under the bus, keeping Michael Vick in the lineup for another week.

Then there's Jeffrey Lurie, an owner with the hubris to spend millions of dollars on wind turbines and solar panels, rather than on better players. How can fans stand for this?

To me the most upsetting thing about Hurricane Sandy was that it dominated the local news in the days after the game and gave the Eagles a pass. What does it say that the weather team on 6ABC has shown more of a nasty streak in the last week than the Eagles defense?

The standings say the Eagles are 3-4, but please- they're 0-7. And they won't have a win until Andy Reid is gone.

If you ask me, the worst part of all is that the fans were there for Andy in his time of need. Why isn't he there for us now?

Other Philly sports takes:

- A few ideas of Eagles coaches for next year: Bill Cowher, Brian Billick, Rob Ryan, Brian Kelly, Chip Kelly, and Steve Spagnoalo. Only if Gruden says no, of course.

- On the firing of Juan Castillo, the last word goes to Marcus Hayes: "Castillo's shortcomings got Castillo fired... Castillo got Castillo fired . . . but he didn't need to be fired."

- Shame on Danny Watkins for refusing to speak to the media. I don't really want to hear anything he has to say, and I honestly wish he'd just shut up, but still, shame on him.

- There's a credible trade rumor out of New York: Curtis Granderson-for-Darin Ruf. Jump on it, Ruben!

- The Sixers' season started last night. I think they've got a really strong outside shot at the 10th seed in the East. Assuming Andrew Bynum is healthy, of course.

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

The Eagles' Shame Spiral: It Just Gets Worse and Worse

2012-10-19T14:26:40Z

On Tuesday the Philadelphia Eagles, coming to the obvious conclusion that the man to blame for their terrible offensive line play is the former offensive line coach, fired defensive coordinator Juan Castillo. Todd Bowles was named the new defensive coordinator; presumably Howard Mudd was asked first and said no.

The firing followed an embarrassing loss to a bad Detroit Lions team that dropped the Eagles to 3-3. After two straight losses marked by lackluster play from Michael Vick and the offensive line, awful special teams and especially poor clock management and team discipline, the natural move was to dismiss the defensive coordinator.

There's an old saying in sports, that offensive line-coaches-turned-defensive-coordinators are "hired to be fired." But the move was still shocking, and once again shows the continuous lack of commitment to winning under Jeffrey Lurie. A caller to the morning show last week said that if the Eagles one day win a Super Bowl, he'd boo Jeffrey Lurie at the parade, and it's hard to disagree.

Yes, I know the Eagles are 3-3 and not 0-6. I know there's a lot more football left to play, the Eagles have a long history of looking dead in the water and then making a late-season run, and they've never lost the game after a bye under Andy Reid. But none of that matters to me. The Eagles are doomed.

Fire Andy Reid. Fire Marty Mornhinweg and Bobby April, too. Bench Vick and put Lunchpail Philly Guy Nick Foles in, and trade a few draft picks for offensive line help. This is the NFL! This isn't a game!

Juan Castillo never should've been a defensive coordinator in the first place. And shame on the Eagles for throwing him under the bus.

Other Philadelphia sports takes:

- The Eagles last Sunday honored Ricky Watters at halftime. Watters named his autobiography "For Who, For What," which would be like if Donovan McNabb wrote a book and called it "I Didn't Know There Were Ties in the NFL."

- With the Yankees getting swept out of the playoffs, Thursday was the one night that even I would rather listen to WFAN. But now that Alex Rodriguez is reportedly available, I think the Phillies should make a run at him. They need a third baseman, and you can't argue with 647 homers.

Besides, with Ryan Howard, the Phils have already shown themselves willing to commit five years and nine figures to a guy in his 30s who's not putting up numbers like he used to. If the Yankees agreed to pay, say, half his salary, $15 million a year is quite a bargain.

Would you rather have A-Rod at third next year, or Placido Polanco? I rest my case.

- If you think Andrew Bynum is going to play a single minute for the Sixers this year, you're fooling yourself.

- I'm not sensing much excitement this fall about the Flyers. Do something, Paul Holmgren!

- Bill O'Brien referring to Facebook as "Spacebook" is by far the most embarrassing thing any Penn State football coach has ever done.

- The most tragic thing about a guy getting stabbed at a 49ers game in San Francisco is that the media says mean things about Philly fans.

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

Why the Phillies Must Trade For Mike Trout

2012-10-04T13:19:51Z

With the Phillies' disgraceful season finally coming to an end on Wednesday, it's time to look ahead to the offseason and to the one move the team can't afford to not make.

Angels outfielder Mike Trout is an absolute phenom who's a shoo-in for rookie of the year and possibly MVP, after hitting .324 with 30 homers and 83 RBIs this year. Trout is a native of Millville, N.J., and he admitted in an interview with CSN Philly last week that he still roots for the Phillies, even sometimes referring to the Phils, and not the Angels, as "we."

I say we grant him his wish. The Phillies must make trading for Mike Trout their primary goal this offseason- and I really don't care who they have to give up in return.

We all know the Phils need outfielders, they need offensive firepower, and they need youth. Trout will give them all three.

He's a superstar, who's only 21 years old. Even better, he's under team control for five more years and makes a salary under $1 million. And we don't have to ask whether he's a Philly guy, because he's from here!

Trading for him is a no-brainer. Because we know the Angels have money to spend, they can probably eat some contracts. So Cliff Lee, Domonic Brown and a couple of prospects should get it done. And I've gotta say- I'm going to lose a lot of respect for Ruben Amaro if he can't pull this deal off.

Yea, I know, you're probably saying the Angels would never let a phenom like Trout get away. But isn't that what they said about the Knicks and Jeremy Lin?

So go for it, Phils. I'm already excited for the next ten years of Mike Trout starring for the Phillies, and Nick Foles for the Eagles.

Other Philly sports takes:

- Speaking of phenoms… Why do the Phillies get a pass for not playing Darin Ruf until the last week of the season?

- The Eagles are clearly the worst 3-1 team in NFL history. Wake me up when they've scored more points this year than they've given up.

- On Tuesday, the WIP morning show gave away a signed Brian Dawkins jersey to the listener who could name the Hollywood actress with the "best boobs." I can't imagine a more honorable and dignifying culmination of Dawk's Philadelphia career than that. I'm just upset that no one named obvious winner- and Philly native- Kat Dennings.

- If I had a contract for $125 million, I'd find it in my heart to play the last three games of the season with a broken big toe.

- I enjoyed the CSN 15th anniversary special, but why'd they leave out the moment when Eric Snow fell asleep at the broadcast table during a Sixers game?

- So drug dealers in town are selling heroin with the brand name "LeBron James," and not that of any Sixers player? What an embarrassment for the franchise.

- The A's making the playoffs is proof that the wrong baseball team left Philadelphia.

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Poll

Should the Phillies trade for Mike Trout?

Yes

19 votes

Hell yes

61 votes

80 votes | Poll has closed