clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

On Field and On Screen, the Eagles Can't Stop Failing

New, 5 comments

Whether it's the Cowboys game or the new Bradley Cooper movie, @FakeWIPCaller isn't getting much joy from the Eagles these days

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

What more can I say about this pathetic, embarrassing Eagles team? I didn't tweet much this week, because whenever the Eagles lose to the Cowboys, I always have trouble getting out of bed. Apparently some of the players feel the same way.

I mean, what else is left to say about that sad loss on Sunday, the team's fifth in a row? The only people in Eagles' jerseys at the Linc who showed any pride, tenacity or passion were the fans in the parking lot who set fire to a Cowboys fan's car. It's also pretty pathetic that there were people in Cowboys jerseys all over the place at the Linc, yet it didn't look like any of them had black eyes.

That said, I am excited for the Nick Foles Era. I bought a Foles jersey, I admit. Nine weeks ago. But sticking him behind this line is just abominable. I hear Foles' brother was tweeting during the game, pleading for them to get Nick some help, or else for a trade.

The Eagles admitted they turned up the PA system during the game? Great, we'll just have to boo louder.

I was sure the five-game losing streak and the loss of confidence by the entire fan base would be enough to finally get Andy Reid out of town. But do you know what really convinced me the Andy Era is over for good? The Joe Conklin "Ho Ho Ho" song. Absolutely devastating.

Oh well, it could be worse, everyone. We could still have McNabb.

@FakeWIPCaller at the Movies:

Seeking some refuge from the smoking failure of this year's Eagles season, I caught an early showing of "The Silver Linings Playbook" this week. Big mistake.

Like most things involving the Eagles, I had high hopes that weren't met. The commercials that have been showing during football games made it look like the whole movie was about an Eagles fan who meets a hot girl who's also an Eagles fan, and them and his dad make a big bet about the last game of the year. Sounds great, right? About time they made a movie that guys like me can relate to.

But that's not it at all. Bradley Cooper- who's from Philly, and should really know better- plays a die hard Birds fan who just got out of a mental institution. Yes, that's right, Hollywood is stereotyping Eagles fans as mentally ill. I mean, 13 years of Andy Reid can do a lot to test any man's sanity, but come on.

This is just another way of saying we all throw snowballs at Santa. In fact, Cooper himself -who I thought was one of us- dropped the S-bomb in an interview with Rhea Hughes, which should tell you a lot about the integrity of this project.

But even worse than that- there's almost no football in the movie! We don't see any game action, and the movie doesn't end with a big football game, but with a dance contest. And while I for one really enjoyed the part where there's a big brawl during a tailgate in the Linc parking lot, that scene should've been way longer.

The movie's set during the 2008 season, so I was hoping we'd get a scene celebrating McNabb's benching in Baltimore. No such luck. And Cooper wears a DeSean Jackson jersey for most of the movie. I'm pretty sick of that guy, and I know I'm not the only one. We don't need a guy named Cooper wearing the jersey of a disappointing Eagles wide receiver. We already have Riley.

Sure, I liked a few things. Robert De Niro plays Cooper's dad, who's a bookie. I always wished De Niro was my dad, or at least my bookie. And Jennifer Lawrence is pretty great to look at, although I don't know why they couldn't have her play an Eagles cheerleader.

They should've just made another movie about Vince Papale. Or waited for a few years to make "Superstar: the Nick Foles Story." Thumbs down. I don't expect Glen and Ray Diddy to even include it in their next movie book.

Other Philly sports takes:

- Many of you have asked who I voted for. Like in every election, I wrote in Buddy Ryan for president.

- Now that the Lakers decided not to hire Phil Jackson, the Sixers must. Last time he replaced Doug Collins, you may remember, it worked out pretty well.

- Sure, the Marlins, who dumped their whole roster Tuesday, may be cheap, but let's not give the Phillies a pass. They haven't signed any free agents yet, have they?

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.