The Eagles on Sunday came within a last-second play of their ninth consecutive loss, taking advantage of a superhuman final drive against the league's worst pass defense to beat the Bucs in Tampa Bay. In all, great day to be an Eagles fan, except for the part about blowing their draft position.
Anyway, a look at who won and who lost from the Eagles' first win in 70 days:
Winner: Nick Foles. For years, we've all wondered what the Eagles would be able do with a quarterback who possessed the qualities needed to win in the NFL: Namely, grit, the will to win, a high football IQ, and (most of all), the lunchpail, blue-collar approach to the game that Philadelphia fans demand. Wonder no more. Foles is officially a quarterback's quarterback and, more importantly, a Philly Guy.
Loser: Jeff Garcia. His status as the best Eagles quarterback of my lifetime is no longer secure.
Winner: The guy who played "Napoleon Dynamite." Because of his resemblance to Foles, people are remembering him for the first time in years. Even if his Uncle Rico may have been the better quarterback.
Loser: Donovan McNabb. Nick Foles heroically led a game-winning in the final seconds, something certain other ex-Eagles quarterbacks were known for never being able to do.
Winner: Andy Reid. Even if he coached Sunday's game in a golf shirt two sizes too small, a win is a win.
Loser: The fans. If, as we all fear, Sunday's game kicks off a four-game winning streak that leads to a three-year Andy extension.
Winner: Bobby April. If the Eagles had lost you just know there'd have been another Monday morning assistant-coach purge, and after the missed field goals and muffed punt, you get the sense it was April's turn.
Loser: Jim Washburn. Clearly, the eight-game losing streak was all his fault.
Winner: Brent Celek. He may have been knocked out of the game with a concussion on the first play from scrimmage, but at least he gave an inspiring pregame speech.
Loser: The Phillies. They've now no longer won a game more recently than the Eagles- and if you ask me, that's just embarrassing. They must now rebound by signing Josh Hamilton, preferably announcing it during the Eagles game on Thursday night.
Winner: Jon Gruden. He was in attendance to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Tampa's championship- and got a front-row seat for what we all hope is his next team. He did say Foles reminded him of Brad Johnson…
Loser: Ronde Barber. Ten years ago, he was responsible for one of the worst moments in Eagles history. He's somehow still with the Bucs- and look who got the last laugh?
Other Philly sports takes:
New Phillies third baseman Michael Young was reportedly torn between family and baseball when weighing whether to approve his trade to the Phillies. Let's all be thankful he decided against his family and made the right choice.
Zach Greinke's 6-year deal with the Dodgers was $149 million, $5 million more than the Phils gave Cole Hamels. I hate how cheap the Phillies are.
Don't think I"ll ever be able to forgive Shane Victorino for taking Boston's money. He should've offered to come back to the Phillies for free.
The Andrew Bynum saga has a clear lesson: Bowling is dangerous, and you should never bowl. Or trade Andre Iguodala for anyone who does.
If Salon.com ever wants to interview me, they know where to find me.
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