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VIDEO: David Stern Brings Chainsaw to NBA Negotiations, Shows Off 42-inch Vertical

*This is not a real depiction of the NBA Lockout*

I've read hundreds of articles, blog posts and tweets trying to explain the Lockout, and even written a few myself. But it wasn't until I stumbled across this video by Taiwan's Next Media Animation that I fully understood what was going on. It all makes sense now. Here's what I learned from the 90 second video:

  • Goaltending rules do not apply to David Stern.
  • David Stern has hops.
  • LeBron takes the "King James" mantra seriously, and wears a crown 24/7, even while cooking pizza with Derek Fisher
  • David Stern handles a chainsaw better than you'd expect.
  • Speaking of, someone needs to tell Derek Fisher that he brought a machete to a chainsaw fight.
  • When the Pistons eventually get contracted David Stern will weep like Rocky after Micky died in Rocky III.
  • Time Warner Cable is a woman.
  • LeBron's game doesn't translate in Taiwan. 
  • "LONG LIVE THE LOCKOUT!"

Make the jump to watch the video.

NBA lockout spoils start of 2011 season (via NMAWorldEdition)

(H/T NESN)

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